Mary J. Blige, The Queen of Hip-Hop Soul, is one of the most transparent, vulnerable and talented artists of our time.
From “My Life” to “Not Gon Cry” to “No More Drama” and her other heartfelt records, so many of us have found a way to relate to some aspect of Mary’s life.
In this blog, we will take a look at information she has publicly shared about her financial life.
And, through her financial triumph, we will find lifelong lessons that, like many of her songs, uplift and inspire change.
1. Money Mismanagement is a Relationship Red Flag
In Mary J. Blige’s most recent relationship, her ex-husband’s poor financial management was a red flag that led Mary to file for divorce.
She discloses his financial abuse in her song “Set me Free” from her Strength of a Woman album –
“And how you fix your mouth to say I owe you
When you had another b*** and taking trips and s***
With my money for so long.”
Sheesh.
Clearly, using a spouse’s money to take trips with a side piece is not loving.
Like Mary, however, many overlook this type of money mismanagement until it gets to the “Set Me Free” level of extreme.
In Mary’s case, her ex had already contributed to their $10,000,000 of debt before she discovered the more than $420,000 in travel charges he spent on his side chick.
Tragic, right?
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But, love can blind us from financial warnings that would normally send red flags in any other relationship.
Although we cannot control 100% of our partner’s spending, we can put protocols in place to make sure we use money in a loving way.
If one spouse refuses to adhere to protocols, it might be wise to seek financial counseling or seek help for financial abuse.
Financial problems are one of the top five reasons for divorce.
Any hint of poor financial habits should be addressed immediately in any relationship.
Separate Love and Business
Mary’s ex-husband was also her former Manager.
As her Manager, we do not know how much control he had over her business and personal finances.
What we do know is, he had enough freedom to mismanage her hard-earned money so terribly that she could not pay her rent after the divorce.
The key lesson here is to separate love and business.
Whether your partner is financially responsible or not, couples who do business together should hire an outside accountant or business advisor to oversee their enterprise.
With third-party oversight, you can work through business decisions, analyze business transactions and delegate financial management.
This type of oversight can help guard your marriage against the intermingling of business funds and personal funds – a financial “no-no” that can negatively impact both your tax liability and asset protection.
Marriages can have financial boundaries
During a 2017 iHeart Radio interview, Mary stated –
“I had to give up all this alimony, and I didn’t have no more money to give because he had spent it all…I didn’t have no money to pay my rent and all this other stuff.”
Mary is not alone.
In a study by MARRIpedia, women’s standard of living decreased by 20% after divorce.
To guard against this type of financial crisis in marriage, couples can set financial boundaries such as –
- Limiting credit card usage to specific expenses,
- Creating a joint budget,
- Opening joint and separate financial accounts,
- Hiring a financial advisor for accountability, and
- Committing to improve financial stewardship and financial literacy together.
It’s a gorgeous day for a new @maryjblige album 🙌 https://t.co/fakLRmrAoe pic.twitter.com/c12Iujt6fD
— Spotify (@Spotify) February 11, 2022
In addition to these personal guardrails, the legal way to set financial boundaries in and after marriage is through a prenuptial agreement (prenup).
Mary most likely had a prenup, even so, her business relationship with her husband and living in a community-property state might have interfered with guaranteed protection.
Keep in mind, Mary has a level of net worth and status at which it makes sense for her to request a prenup in any relationship.
On the other hand, us regular-income folk should discuss a prenup with our financial, legal and spiritual advisors before drafting a contract.
The reason is, we should make sure we understand what our faith says about divorce before we enter into a marriage.
Also, it is important to make sure our motives and goals behind the contract align with our values and beliefs.
2. Don’t forget about the IRS
In 2013, Mary and her husband were hit with a $3.4 million tax bill.
This bill included tax liabilities from 2009, 2010 and 2011.
Even though Mary did not intentionally dodge the IRS, someone in her advisor group did not take proper account of her taxable income.
Some might find it hard to believe this type of tax oversight could happen at her level of worth.
Just know –it happens.
For those of you who are employees, tax planning tends to be less of a hassle.
Every year, you update Form W-4 which tells your employer how much to withhold from your paycheck.
That’s it.
When you are self-employed, you have to plan for income tax, self-employment tax, sales tax, state and local taxes – and more!
Not only that, a high-demand artist like Mary is earning income from her label, endorsements and a plethora of other sources.
To manage this level of financial activity, successful entrepreneurs like Mary need a high-level financial system for accurate tax reporting and financial oversight.
This system should include bookkeeping, tax planning, an accountable plan, bill payment and a team of financial advisors to keep the business compliant.
It’s a lot.
But, it has to be done. The government does not play when it comes to the money you owe them.
Fortunately, Mary’s team resolved the liability and she is now in good standing with the IRS.
3. Work Diligently and Give Generously
Mary J. Blige’s successful career has spanned more than three decades.
As an entertainer, that does not happen without a strong work ethic.
Work Diligently
In a 2022 Interview with the Breakfast Club, Mary J. Blige said –
“I couldn’t get the overhead paid, so I had to go work for it, not that I… mind working. I don’t mind working.”
Her statement is is important because, sometimes the media will glamorize the lives of those who intentionally live in lack to pursue a passion.
Think of the starving artist who couch surfed to make it onto American Idol. Or the rapper who sold drugs to fund his rap career.
Yes, sometimes institutional discrimination can limit the job opportunities available to certain minorities and disabled people. And yes, sometimes the economy and inflation add additional challenges to job opportunities.
But, work is necessary for those who are able.
Whether you are a creative, an artist, or have any other type of passion, you still need to work to provide for today, pay your debts and store up for your future.
Proverbs 12:11 sums it up best –
One who works his land will have plenty of bread,
But one who pursues worthless things lacks sense.
Give Generously
Not only should we work to provide, we should also work to give. Mary J. Blige is known for not only giving to charity, but also giving to her close friends in need.
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One of Mary J. Blige’s longest friends, Angie Martinez, told VICE TV that, when Angie was starting off in her career, Mary J. Blige helped her pay her rent.
Not only that, Mary never asked for the money back.
Wow.
Now, while we should use discernment before we give to those in need, we should also prioritize giving as stewards of God’s resources.
After telling the Parable of the Talents in Matthew 25, Jesus says –
“For I was hungry, and you gave Me nothing to eat;
I was thirsty, and you gave Me nothing to drink;
I was a stranger, and you did not invite Me in;
naked, and you did not clothe Me;
sick, and in prison, and you did not visit Me.’
Then they themselves also will answer, ‘Lord, when did we see You hungry, or thirsty, or as a stranger, or naked, or sick, or in prison, and did not take care of You?’
Then He will answer them, ‘Truly I say to you, to the extent that you did not do it for one of the least of these, you did not do it for Me, either.”
When we give to those in need, we give like God, as He has given generously for us.
And, when it comes to living out our eternal purpose, giving plays a significant role.
4. Create an Estate Plan
Normally, high-net-worth individuals like Mary create an estate plan because it can –
- Remove assets from their estate to reduce estate tax,
- Protect assets from lawsuits and debt collectors,
- and pass wealth onto designated beneficiaries.
Even though most of us will not have to worry about federal estate tax (currently, the estate tax only applies to multi-millionaires), many of us should protect our real estate, businesses, stock investments and other assets with an estate plan.
Within an estate plan, you can work with an attorney to move assets into trusts that preserve your financial legacy.
For instance, if you do not want a financially irresponsible spouse, child or family member to inherit certain property, you can put that property into a trust that designates a responsible beneficiary who might be a better steward of the trust’s assets.
In addition, if you want to provide for your children’s children, an estate plan creates a legal pathway for your wealth to make that smooth generational transfer.
{Click here to learn more about estate planning.}
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5. You Can Rebuild
Mary finalized her divorce in 2018.
That same year, she earned an Academy Award nomination for her role in Mudbound.
In 2020, she earned a leading role on the hit-show Power Book II: Ghost.
In 2022, she headlined the Super Bowl with Dr. Dre, Snoop Dogg and Eminem.
She currently has a wine business, multiple endorsements and a $20 million net worth.
Financially, she’s doing “Just Fine.”
Her financial story is a reflection of God’s provision and grace.
In multiple interviews, she expresses how prayer, taking care of herself and pushing forward has helped her rebuild.
For Mary, this mindset is nothing new. We heard it in her 1994 hit, “My Life-“
“We all are struggling
I know it is hard
But we will get by
And if you don’t believe in me
Just believe in “He”
Cause He’ll give you peace of mind
Yes He will.”
With the right faith and mindset, we can seek new opportunities, pursue financial goals and become better financial stewards in spite of any past mistakes and trauma.
Mary showed us that.
Final Thoughts
Mary J. Blige is a resilient, black woman of faith whose vulnerability has helped many of us out of dark moments in life.
Through her honest transparency, we learn that financial mismanagement can immensely hurt people.
We also learn that, when we start to acquire wealth, proper financial management is essential to maintain that wealth.
Proper financial management is also a key component of godly financial stewardship.
When we properly manage our wealth and use it build God’s Kingdom, we faithfully steward the resources graciously provided by God, our Real Love.